Letting Go
by jackyyy17
Summary: Zekk contemplates on his dark actions, and gets help from on unexpected jedi.


Letting Go

_by: jackyyy17_

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**_Era:_** Between YJK and NJO  
**_Characters:_** Zekk, Mara  
**_Disclaimer:_** I don't own Mara, I don't own Zekk

I would like to say a special thanks to everyone who has helped me with this. You know who you are.

* * *

Zekk stood in attack position in the middle of a clearing in the forest of Yavin 4. His orange-bladed lightsaber was ignited and humming as it swayed slightly, following the movements of the training remote.

The small, spherical remote hovered overhead, moving slightly, as if gauging the best way to attack. Zekk calmed his emotions, and stretched out with the Force, sensing the movements, and waiting. His green eyes were closed, but he could still make out every movement of the remote. And he waited. _Let the remote make the first move. Never attack._

The remote circled overhead silently. Then, with only a flicker of warning from the Force, Zekk swung his lightsaber to the left, successfully blocking the first shot by the droid. The war had begun.

The remote fired three more consecutive shots, all which Zekk easily countered, before moving safely overhead Zekk.

It stayed that way for a few moments, before attacking again. The remote gave three blasts of blue energy before retreating. Then five more.

Zekk was able to follow each shot, deflecting each bolt of energy harmlessly into the luscious foliage of the forest.

The remote, as if it had become tired of its simple approach, kicked up its attack a notch. This time, when it started to fire, the shots were more rapid, and the droid, much faster.

"Okay, two can play at this game!" Zekk brought his saber down and caught a shot aimed at his thigh, only to bring his blade back up for one going for his head.

As the attack progressed, Zekk started deflecting his shots back at the remote. But his attempts were wide and only served to miss the droid, and frustrate him. It was just too fast.

Zekk was becoming so intent on hitting the remote, that his concentration wavered, and a wayward shot was able to slip through his defenses, hitting him in the right side.

The dark haired boy let out a yelp as he rubbed his side with his free hand. A dark, blind fury took hold over him. This was war.

The remote, as if oblivious to the change of Zekk's demeanor, but satisfied with having the upper hand in the battle, hovered overhead once again.

This time, when the remote went to attack, Zekk's goal wasn't defense, but now elimination of the enemy. His fighting form became sloppy and aggressive as the remote charged.

"I have you now." Zekk said, as he lunged after the droid. It was only able the get off two more shots before the orange blade sliced it neatly in half.

As the adrenaline slowly drained from Zekk, realization of the darkness he used, honed in. He quickly deactivated his lightsaber, and tossed it to the ground as if it had burned his hand. He plopped down on a fallen tree, ashamed of his actions. He had already been to the dark side once, at the Shadow Academy. If it was this easy to let the darkness back in, then maybe he shouldn't even train as a Jedi. He had already brought hurt to his friends, when they had tried to attack the academy.

Zekk sat there for the longest time, staring mindlessly, and drawing circles in the sand with his boot.

"It's not the end of the world, you know," a female voice broke into his thoughts.

Zekk turned swiftly around to retort, when Mara Jade came into his view. He quickly clamped his mouth shut, and glanced straight ahead again.

"Oh, come on. It's not so bad."

"How would you know?" He spat in retaliation.

He had expected her to scold him with the famous Jade temper, but was surprised when all he heard was her soft laughter.

"You're lucky. You know that?" Her voice was clam, without a hint of scorn, and her features were soft, not expressionless, like normal.

"How do you figure?"

"Well, for starters you're a good kid. You have good friends, and you are very lucky."

"How can you say that? I was the one who dabbled in the dark side. I was the darkest knight. Do you know what it's like to want to kill your friends and destroy all they stand for?"

Mara was silent for a second, almost as if lost in memories. When she finally responded, it was as if her mind was far away. "No, I guess I can never say that I know what it is like to want to kill a close friend." Then, to lighten the mood, she smiled and added, "Luke wasn't a friend yet, when I wanted to kill him."

Zekk blushed a little at that comment. He had heard stories of Luke and Mara's rocky relationship, but up until now he had just assumed they were rumors, stories the holopress had made up. The two seemed so in love that it was hard to imagine a time when she could hate Luke for anything. "Sorry," was all that he could manage to say.

Mara smiled, which Zekk knew was very rare for her.

"You know Zekk, you're being too hard on yourself right now, but you have something that your friends don't have."

"What, a murderous reputation?"

"No, an inner strength. One that the twins don't have. A fortitude that can only come from experience. You dabbled in the dark side. So what? The only thing that matters now is that you came back. You refined your mistakes, and made yourself better. That is a precedent that one can only acquire by actually learning it hands on. Yes it is a hard truth to come by, and will probably haunt you for the rest of your life. I know you feel guilty, but that is only because you acknowledge your mistakes, and vow never to repeat them. You know your strengths and weaknesses. And that right there is what matters.

"A wise man once told me that my past mistakes are atoned for. The same goes for you. While the past does matter, the here and now is much more important."

Zekk was silent for a long while, reflecting on what Mara had just told him. "What if I mess up again?"

"You probably will. Everybody does at one time or another. It's just in our nature."

"But I served the Empire Reborn. I was their darkest knight. I was tainted with the dark side! That has got to mean something!" Zekk's voice had risen drastically.

"Yeah, for you and half the other Jedi here. Your not the only one who served the Empire, whether it was fake or real. Master Kam Solusar was a personal warrior to Palpatine, and I served as Palpatine's hand for most of my childhood. Heck, even Master Skywalker fell to the Emperor's powers."

Zekk stared at her in shock. "He did?"

"Yeah, but don't tell him I told you that." She smiled again. "So you see, we're not all that different. You shouldn't give up."

"How do you handle it? Does the pain ever get better with time?"

"Depends on whether or not you let it get to you. Yes, I'm still guilty for my sins. But it helps to have family and friends for support. That was my hardest lesson, letting other people help. But you've got to take it one day at a time."

Zekk had to smile at that. "Then I guess it's a big learning experience."

"Yes it is."

They set there in silence for some time.

Zekk broke it. "Jedi Skywalk…"

"Mara, please." They both rose from the fallen tree.

"Hey Mara."

"Yeah?"

"Thanks!"

"No problem." She started to walk off, but turned around and added, "And if you ever need to talk, I'll listen. But be sure to catch me in a good mood."

They both laughed a little at this.

"Thanks. I'll have to take you up on that offer."

"Your welcome, and anytime." With that, Mara walked off leaving Zekk alone once again.

He stood for a few moments, enjoying the slight, humid breeze that caressed his skin.

He walked over to the bushes that were protecting his discarded lightsaber, and picked it up. He turned it over in his hand a few times enjoying the cold feeling of the metal, before clipping the Jedi weapon pack on his belt.

He started the hike back to the temple, and Jedi Academy.

_Maybe I have a future as a Jedi after all._

The End


End file.
